Confessions Of A Pastor...

I design virtually all of the graphics, videos, and promotions for our church as kind of a hobby and creative outlet, and I have come to realize why I find so much fulfillment in it. While it is at times quite time consuming and tedious, I have learned and will tell you my biggest motivation and reward from it.

I would preach on Sundays and Wednesdays to good  people who would listen and affirm my words with their thanks and "amen's", but I couldn’t control them. I couldn’t make people make right decisions.

However, with graphic or video design, I can type out some words, add some music, and make an image or a video look a certain way. I am in control of the final product or outcome.

Preaching carries with it this burden of having no real control over the outcome of a sermon. As a pastor, I definitely get to control the input – praying, reading, studying, writing, reviewing, and praying some more – but I can’t ultimately make decisions for people, as much as I’d like to do so. I don't control the outcome.

As preachers and pastors, we have to come to peace with this, and if we don’t, we wind up manipulating people. We begin to assume that our eloquence or choice of words, our gimmicks, or our display of emotion and passion will be enough to motivate people to repent and turn to God.

Here is my confession of three things I've come to accept that I will never be able to do as a pastor/preacher...even as hard as I may try.

1. I'll never convict people of sin.

We try sometimes, don’t we? A fellow pastor once shared with me that he was determined to preach on sin every week until the house was clean. Eventually, the house was empty, and he blamed it on their unwillingness to get things in their lives right with God.

The problem is, when we try to bring people to a place of conviction on our own, we may pile on the guilt and shame, but we only end up driving people further into their sense of hopelessness or retreat from God.

I’m not saying I shouldn’t preach on sin...I should, and will, as God leads. I’m simply saying that we overstep our role when we attempt to bend the human heart to our wills.

So whose job is it to convict? The Holy Spirit, and I can promise you from personal experience that He is extremely effective in that role. (See John 16:8.)

My role is to present truth and grace, in love, and trust the Holy Spirit to prick through the hardness of the human heart to bring people face to face with their own issues.

2. I'll never convince people of the truth.

I believe we should be well-studied and prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks us a reason concerning the hope inside us. (See 1 Peter 3:15.)

We should seek to be both vocal and persuasive, while avoiding the temptation to become argumentative. But at the end of the day, I can’t ultimately convince someone to believe the good news about Jesus on my own.

It’s a work of the Holy Spirit. And again, He is trustworthy to perform and accomplish His word when we are faithful and present the gospel.

I’ve sometimes been baffled by the hardness and stubbornness of the will of some non-believers, and equally as baffled when they suddenly bow their wills before the Father and place their faith in Christ.

I learned a long time ago that I don’t have to be a gospel salesman, but even as a pastor, I sometimes need reminding. When the fruit is ripe, you don’t have to yank it.

3. I'll never convert people into disciples of Jesus.

As a pastor, I thrive on the stories of life change that emerge from our growing congregation. I love knowing that people are coming to faith and coming to life through our ministry.

I can point to examples of individuals who walked into our church for the first time, lost and broken with their lives in shambles. And I’ve seen lives turned around, marriages healed, families put back together, and addicts delivered and on the road to recovery.

But I don’t make it happen. I can’t possibly regenerate or resurrect dead things and turn them into living things. I can’t make anyone a new creature, and neither can you. None of us can.

Guess who can?

When the Holy Spirit applies the word of God to the human heart, He can convict of sin, convince of the truth, and then convert a person from lost to saved, from dead to living. (See Titus 3:5.)

And here’s the beauty of all of this… in confessing and accepting these inabilities... the pressure is off!

I don’t have to make things happen. I should certainly work hard to be a faithful leader and shepherd, but the enormously impossible task of generating real spiritual change is left in the very capable hands of the Holy Spirit, for whom anything is possible!

I cannot make anyone love and want to serve God. All I can do is love God, and serve Him to the best of my ability, and pray that others find the same joy and purpose that I have in surrendering to and following His plan for my life. Once they truly discover that in their own lives, they will never be the same!

Part of the work of pastors and ministers is creating space for the Holy Spirit to have His way, for Jesus to have the spotlight, and for the washing of the water of the word to take place before our very eyes.

There is great freedom that comes in acknowledging and accepting these inabilities in my own life, and I pray it helps someone else like you, who may be struggling, carrying the weight or responsibility of something you were never meant or designed to carry.